The Guts to Criticize and Do It Well

In today's khutbah, the speaker talked about proper Islamic dress in daily life but especially for the mosque. It wasn't anything very ground-breaking; he just reminded people that Muslims are supposed to dress respectfully and modestly. However, for some reason I was impressed at even this slight criticism. I guess I've gotten used to people being afraid of possibly offending anyone. I agree that you should avoid offending people if possible but when correcting someone and setting them straight, it's necessary to somehow show them the error of their ways.

I was impressed at how tactfully today's criticism was made. There was no finger pointing. The perpetrators themselves were hardly mentioned, for the most part the whole khutbah was about the reasons behind the dress code. Verses from the Quran and hadith were mentioned and explained. Everything was very tasteful and I don't believe anybody felt singled out or offended.

The point of this post, however, has nothing to do with Islamic dress. My point is that the speaker was not afraid to criticize. In today's world of personal rights and ultra-politeness (although that only seems to apply to not offending people but not to manners or common courtesy) most people are afraid to speak up about something being wrong. This timidity to speak up is what leads to cursing becoming a common part of regular speech, inappropriate dress everywhere, wide acceptance of sex and nudity, and other little problems that sum up to one big problem throughout society.

I know I've read either in the Quran or in hadith, possibly both, how to criticize others. It says to take them aside and tell them their error in private. There's no need to make it into a public embarrassment. If they still don't correct their ways, then do it again. Finally, if they continue to do wrong, then bring it to the attention of others. This shows a great deal of respect, consideration, and maturity, in my opinion and now I see that it's not just taught but also practiced this way.

I know in church we're often told to lead good lives and the goodness of Jesus, the prophets, and the saints are extolled but rarely are we actually criticized on any particular aspect of our lives. I do recall a priest one time at a university church giving a sermon on the evils of drunkenness (a problem on college campuses) and the virtues of moderation in all aspects of life. It was done just as tastefully and tactfully as today's khutbah but I don't recall any other real criticism. My experiences are also limited to only mainstream, moderate churches. I get the feeling that more fundamental, extreme churches might be more willing to criticize vocally based on my experiences debating some fundamentalists. However, in those situations, there is definitely an extreme lack of tact and compassion. As opposed to my "love the sinner, hate the sin" mantra, they seem to adopt a "hate the sinner and the sin" attitude, forgetting that they themselves are also sinners regardless of how hard they might try. I feel like there is always plenty of finger pointing and condemning when God is the only one capable of doing that.