Fatigue and Discouragement

I don't have anything substantial to say; I just wanted to complain a bit. Sometimes I wish I had never learned anything about Islam so I could've continued living in my state of ignorance and bliss. I was so much happier when I thought I knew what was right. Now that I'm uncertain, I'm always in an uncomfortable situation. I don't know what to believe when I'm at church, I don't know what to believe when I'm at jumuah, I'm in my state of unrest and confusion at all times throughout my day and I rarely get a real break; most distractions only allow me to push it to the back of my thoughts but not forget about it completely. I'm worried about how my life will change. I'm worried about the reactions of my family and friends. I'm worried, of course, about the state of my eternal soul.

Actually, sometimes when doing all this reading and thinking and considering and worrying, it occurs to me that completely giving up on religion would be so much easier. I could still live as a good person but I could sleep late on Sundays and not have to rearrange my lunches on Fridays. I wouldn't have to deal with this internal struggle about which path is correct because I'd be walking my own path. It would be so much easier in so many ways but I can't do it because I know that God, who made the entire universe and created me for a purpose, wants me to love and worship him. Anyway, I'm done whining for now.