Fear of God

I'm finally getting around to another real post. To my faithful audience, I'm sorry for the wait. My life is absolutely insane recently with much travel, visiting family, and an upcoming move to begin a new job. However, throughout all of this, I've had a little time to read and a lot of time to think so this is the first of, hopefully, a fairly regular string of posts.

As a response to my post Comfort in Islam, Azooz mentioned the importance of fear of God. To quote his exact words:

Islam does not concentrate on either God's mercy or God's love - the Fear of God must always come first.

Although I do agree that fear of God is a necessary part of one's relationship with the Judeo-Christian-Muslim God, I hate to think that fear is the primary emotion governing that relationship.

When thinking about relationships in general, relationships built on and depending on fear are the saddest kind by far. Governments that maintain control through fear and intimidation are considered evil, totalitarian forces. A man who controls his wife or children through fear or intimidation is an abuser and a criminal. These relationships founded on fear are unstable, sad, and are looked down upon by others who often try to free the victims from their oppression.

I won't go so far as to say that fear should be completely eliminated from such relationships. Children's fear of their parents is occasionally necessary to maintain order. The people's fear of police is necessary to preserve peace. However, in these cases, fear is only necessary for the extreme cases. In daily life, the relationship between parents and children is based on love, trust, and dependence. The relationship between a people and their government should, likewise, be built on trust and accountability.

I understand Azooz's assertion that fear will keep you on the straight path and help you lead a good life. However, people who live in constant fear live sad, desperate lives. Additionally, I feel like doing the right thing and living a good life as a result of respect and love is much better incentive than doing it out of fear. Although the outcome may be the same, what is in one's heart is drastically different. In the first case, one has a true desire to do what is right whereas in the second, one simply desires to avoid the punishment that goes along with what is wrong.

I'm starting to think that the biggest differences between Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are simply their perception of God; which attributes of God receive the most attention. In all three God has the same attributes but each focuses on different aspects, which influence their practices, rituals, and cultures.

I just needed to get that out because Azooz's comment has been bothering me ever since I read it. What does everyone else think?

My Recent Absence

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. I've had a number of ideas for posts that I wanted to get out but things have been insanely hectic recently and it won't be letting up for at least another month. I at least meant to make an Easter post (Happy Easter everyone!!!) but I've been busy traveling on business and also for personal reasons.

I have, however, managed to find some time for more reading and thinking. I finished reading A Muslim and a Christian in Dialogue. It is written by two friends, one Christian and one Muslim, both well educated about both their religion and the other's through both personal experience and formal education. The book serves as a good introduction to the two religions and points out their many similarities and some of the bigger differences but it is definitely an introductory book. It is divided into two sections, the first is a description of the fundamentals of Islam and the second a description of Christianity. Each chapter covers a particular topic and is concluded by comments from the other author of the other religion's perspective. None of the topics are covered in any extreme depth and, as a result, much of the heavy theology is absent. However, if you don't know much about one or both religions and want to learn more, I would definitely recommend it.

On one of my recent trips, I picked up Islam by Karen Armstrong, who is an author who writes many books about the monotheistic religions. It is more of a history of Islam and I'm only a third of the way through it but it is definitely very interesting so far. I've already read a biography of Mohammad but this book starts with pre-Islamic Arabia, Mohammad's lifetime, the expansion of the Islamic empire, and continues all the way up to the events of September 11th.

What I've read so far explains the development of a number of the different schools of Islamic thought, fiqh, and shariah law. It is very interesting to understand how the various Islamic movements came to be and, probably more importantly, it explains what the different movements are. Until now, I've been fairly ignorant of Shiite versus Sunni Islam and what the differences were. In any case, I'll keep you updated as I continue to read.

As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I've been meaning to make some substantial posts and I'm going to make a serious effort to do so in the near future.

Until then, happy spring!

Evil and Sin

Islam and Christianity both agree that the first sin of man was Adam and Eve's eating of the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden. In Christianity, it is believed that this sin is then inherited through all future generations. Thus, when a baby is first born, he or she is born in sin. No man is without sin for any period and only through belief in Jesus and forgiveness through his sacrifice can one be saved.

Islam, on the other hand, does not believe that the Original Sin is passed on, but rather, children are born pure in a state of Islam and only with time do they go astray. This is definitely a happier outlook as you don't have the question of what happens to all the babies who died soon after birth before baptism. Most every Christian would like to think that a compassionate God would forgive them of the sin that was committed generations upon generations ago by their very first ancestor but there's a reason most congregations baptize as early as practical (excluding, of course, congregations like Baptists that perform baptisms much later in a child's life).

Supposing that Islam is correct and children are born devoid of sin, sin would enter one's life later through the willful breaking of God's commandments. Again, this seems like a much fairer assumption and I like to think that God is fair.

Let's play a little thought experiment for fun. Would a child born free of sin and raised in an environment free of sin then remain sinless? Suppose the child, immediately after birth, were stuck on a deserted island where he or she is fed and cared for by machines and never had any contact with other humans. Would that child, free from the influence of sinful humans, remain sinless?

I conjecture that the child, although possibly grown by this point, would still eventually sin even without the influence of sinful humans. I believe that sinful urges and desires would still take their toll; that they are not learned from others. However, I'm not going so far as to say that the child was born with the seed of sin implanted, waiting to sprout. That could be the case, as Christianity might state, or it could be that, even without the outside influence of other humans, the child is still vulnerable to the outside influence of Satan. Just as Adam and Eve were originally free from sin but still gave in to Satan's tempting whispers, our hypothetical child would be the same.

I have to admit that I like the Muslim belief better; I like the idea that children are born pure and free of the sins of their ancestors. However, as always, religion and truth aren't necessarily what's easiest or nicest.

What made me write about this subject is that I'm currently reading A Muslim and a Christian in Dialogue by Badru D. Kateregga and David W. Shenk and I recently read the chapter on sin. That got me thinking a little bit about the differences in belief about sin between Christianity and Islam. I'm not far enough into the book to really review it but so far it's pretty informative, interesting, and fair.

Comfort in Islam

This has been a particularly hard week for me because of some bad events that occurred to a close friend of mine. Thus, I naturally sought comfort in my faith and God. I tried reading through random surahs in the Quran. When seeking comfort with the Bible, my random page selections would, more often than not, yield something that spoke to me and addressed whatever needs and concerns I had. However, I can't say that my random Quranic selections were terribly applicable.

I read at least six surahs and they all seemed to have a similar message, the evil will ultimately be punished and the good will be rewarded. However, although that offers some comfort in the long-term, little immediate comfort was offered. I think it all goes back to my previous observation of Islam being a religion of the mind versus Christianity being a religion of the heart. Islam seems to focus on God's mercy whereas Christianity focuses on God's love. Luckily, even though my reading wasn't very fruitful, my prayers are always able to focus on whatever aspect of God I need at the moment.

Of course, it wasn't very helpful that the khutbah at jumuah today was rather depressing also, focusing on the current situation in Gaza. I went in hoping for something uplifting and instead was just further depressed.

Religous Extremists

This is a topic that needs to be addressed at some point so I might as well have a go at it now. This part isn't so much for me as for critics who would immediately point at radical Islam and ask how I could even consider it as my religion.

My answer to that question is that it's very easy when you realize that radical Islam is just as representative of true Islam as radical Christianity is representative of true Christianity. By radical Christianity, I don't mean pro-life Catholics or born-again Biblical literalists, I mean the kind who take radical measures like bombing abortion clinics or missionaries who torture the natives into accepting Christianity or kill them in the process.

Even most non-Muslims are aware that the terrorist acts performed in the name of Islam are condemned by most of the Muslim world. However, the strict enforcement of what is called Sharia law is opposed by many conservative Muslims as well. I'm obviously far from well-educated when it comes to Islam but I think that many of the current oppressive Islamic regimes go against the teachings and spirit of Islam in their practices.

For instance, one issue that is frequently raised against Islam is its treatment of women. Even though Muslims will tell you that Islam glorifies women and promotes fair treatment of women, that is not the case in many Muslims countries. However, these strict laws are not taught by Islam but are simply the result of Muslim societies creating overly-strict laws by extending Islamic rules or simply perpetuating strict cultural practices and claiming that they are required by Islam.

The following quote is from this article on CNN about men and women at Hajj.

"Why do Muslim women seem to have fewer rights than their men?"
In theory, they don't. For about 1,500 years, women under Islamic laws have had rights that might have surprised their counterparts in other religions, such as the right to independent wealth and property -- which can even be kept private from a woman's husband. One staunch feminist living in Saudi Arabia pointed out in an interview that the arrival of Islam, particularly in Middle Eastern countries, actually improved conditions for women. She said before then, the pagan, often nomadic, tribes treated women like easily discarded property. Islam set standards that looked after women's interests and protected them from men.

In fact, Christianity has a long history of oppressing women that only recently ended. Without having to do any research, I knew Paul's statement that women should not speak in church and should ask their husbands any questions once they are in the privacy of their own homes. However, once I started doing a little research, it appears that Jewish and Christian teachings about women are usually more oppressive than the Islamic teachings. This article addresses many women's issues from Jewish, Christian, and Islamic perspectives with many quotes from the Bible and the Quran as well as rabbis and saints. Of all the topics addressed: education, impurity of women, witnessing, adultery, vows, property, divorce, motherhood, widowhood, polygamy, and the head cover, with the exception of the head cover, Islam actually does more to protect women and ensure their rights than Judaism and Christianity. When it comes to head coverings both Judaism and Christianity have a tradition of women covering their heads. There is nothing mentioned in the Old Testament, although there are apparently rabbinic teachings requiring head coverings. In the New Testament women are instructed to cover their heads when praying, a practice that is still observed by many older Orthodox women, I've noticed, but it makes no mention of their daily lives.

We ignore the fact that Christian culture, in its modernization, has gone against Biblical teachings about women and pushed for gender equality. For some reason, we choose not to treat Islam equally and blame the backwards state of certain Islamic regimes as culture but we blame it on the religion instead. If we go back to the Bible and even Christian tradition and look at Christianity rather than modern Christian cultures, we see that Christianity affords fewer rights to women than Islam.

My main point, throughout all this, is that the extreme practices, teachings, and actions done in the name of Islam does not fairly reflect the religion. Similarly, just because modern "Christian" countries have modernized and ensure certain rights to people does not mean that Christianity necessarily promotes those ideals. I guess, in summary, I'm saying to judge a religion first on its teachings and second on its followers and try to distinguish between those who truly practice the religion from those who carry out their own wishes in the name of that religion.

This post has somehow turned mostly into a discussion of women in Islam, although I believe that terrorist Islamic thinking is simply the extreme form of the same train of thought that leads to oppression of women. If terrorism needs to be addressed as its own subject, I can return to that later but I feel this expresses my general thoughts on religious extremism in general.

When it comes to Islamic extremism, people usually think of Taliban Afghanistan or Iran but I believe Saudi Arabia even goes far beyond Islamic teachings in its oppression of women. Islam's laws try to promote respect toward women by keeping them from being objectified as sexual objects. This requires a basic amount of modesty. Likewise, Islam teaches men to avoid tempting situations so as not to have impure thoughts. However, not permitting women to travel alone or drive cars is taking that to a far extreme. Just as the primary opinion is that a women's face and hands may be exposed for practical purposes, it is only practical to allow women to move about to conduct daily tasks. How can a woman work if she cannot travel without her husband? (Remember that Mohammad's first wife, Khadija, was a business woman.) Similarly, how can a non-working woman run errands, go shopping, take the kids to the doctor, or accomplish anything if she is always tied to her husband? I know my mom had a full time job just being a mom; if my dad had to accompany her while also keeping his employment, he never would have slept.

I'm interested in what Muslims have to say about this. I'm sure most think that the Taliban are extreme but will they sympathize with my opinions about Saudi as well?

(As a footnote, I feel like this post was even less connected and logical than most; maybe I'm just out of practice after such a long pause.)

Busy

I've got a lot going on right now with upcoming deadlines and such. As a result, I haven't had much time to write but I still read most every day. Aside from my usual reading of the Bible and the Quran, I've also been reading this article about Catholicism, Christianity, Jesus, and the Bible that was recommended to me by in a recent reply to one of my posts.

I primarily didn't want people to think I had abandoned this site; I'll be back and writing again soon, hopefully.

Islam & Free Will?

Everytime I go to the mosque for jumuah, there's one phrase at the very beginning of every khutbah that gets me thinking. "Whomever Allah guides no one can lead astray and whomever He misguides will find none to guide him aright." What worries me are its implications on free will. It sounds like we're predestined to either paradise or damnation; it sounds very Calvinist.

In the Quran, most things seem to mesh fairly well with discussions of free will in Christianity. God is omnipotent and has created the entire universe. Everything in the universe acts according to God's will but God has given mankind the gift of free will. If man chooses to do good then he is rewarded whereas if he chooses evil, he is punished.

However, in both the Bible and the Quran there are places that imply that man is under God's control. The quote with which I opened is an example of this, although I'm not sure if that's from the Quran or from where it comes. In any case, it implies that if your actions are good, it is due to God's guidance, and if they are evil, it is due to God's lack of guidance. Another disturbing ayah is "Whether you warn them or warn them not, they will not believe you. God has placed a seal on their hearts; there is a veil over their ears and their eyes, and a painful torment awaits them." (2:6-7)* According to these, man does not choose to disobey God but rather God chose for them. Thus, at the beginning of time God chose our fates, paradise or damnation, and we have no choice in the matter. If this is the case, God is unfair to reward or punish people even though they have no say in their actions.

However, other ayat such as "We have shown man the path of truth and the path of falsehood; he may choose either the path of guidance and offer the thanks, or choose the path of ingratitude" (76:3))* lay out very clearly that we are given free will and our decisions in life affect our final state in the afterlife.

Like I said, the same free-will versus predestination argument rages in Christianity with Bible verses supporting both sides. However, none of the verses that are used to support predestination seem to be quite as clear-cut as these. It's sometimes an interesting topic to discuss but it can be equally disturbing if you really think about it.

More Confusion?

I feel like I'm often very pro-Islam for some reason. I've justified it in the past with the excuse that my Christian upbringing leads me to read primarily about Islam as that's where my knowledge is most lacking. However, after my last post, I realized that I need to apply the same criticism to Islam as to Christianity. In particular, my argument about the Trinity being complex and mysterious and my desire to believe that God wouldn't ask us to accept anything too terribly confusing.

If you're unfamiliar with Islam's story of Jesus, I'll give a brief, hopefully accurate but definitely incomplete, summary. Islam, like Christianity, believes that Mary was approached by the archangel Gabriel and informed of her virgin pregnancy. Mary she left town to give birth in the wilderness under a date tree and was made unable to speak about her pregnancy and birth upon returning to town with the baby Jesus. Since his mother was unable to defend herself against accusations of unchastity, the baby Jesus miraculously spoke and defended her, which then broke the seal on his mother's lips. His miraculous conception and birth, however, did not make him a deity any more than Adam, Eve, or Melchizedek are deities although they were created by God without father or mother.

Jesus' mission, according to Islam, is very similar to his mission according to Christianity. He wandered through Israel and Judea performing miracles and teaching the Gospel. However, this was done as a prophet of God rather than as Son of God. Islam (as a majority, although this also states a different viewpoint) does not believe that Jesus was crucified but was simply made to look crucified, either through being replaced by a look-a-like or else by simply fainting on the cross and then waking in the tomb. Most Muslims believe that Jesus was taken up to heaven by God while still alive and will again come, just as in Christianity, at the end of days to establish Islam as the world's religion and abolish all others.

Until just now when reading the differing viewpoints of Jesus within Islam, I had only been aware of the theory where Jesus was replaced with another man made to look like him. This is the point I wanted to refute as confusing. Why would God make it look like Jesus was crucified if we are all supposed to believe otherwise? It would be one thing if only the Romans and his Jewish enemies were convinced of his death but his followers and even his mother witnessed and believed his death.

Of course, now as I write my argument, I'm finding holes. If Jesus didn't claim to be the son of God, it wouldn't matter if he died or not. Whether Jesus the prophet died on the cross or not, he still spent his life teaching God's word and performing miracles in His name. Whether Jesus the prophet was raised to Heaven while still alive or he died a natural death beforehand, he still spent his life teaching God's word and performing miracles in His name. Jesus' crucifixion only really matters if Jesus is not just a prophet but God's Son, sent to pay for the sins of the world through his suffering on the cross and his following internment in Hell before being raised on the third day.

I definitely agree with the arguments that Jesus' staged death is tricky and not very consistent with my impression of God. However, as I stated in the last paragraph, I don't know if it matters much unless it is a central facet of your religion. If Jesus hasn't been crucified but had died a natural death, couldn't he still be deified? Indeed, many religions don't even wait for someone to die before declaring them as gods; for instance, the Dalai Lama or all the many kings and rulers who were worshipped as gods (in the literal sense) by all their subordinates.

I guess I didn't have any revelations in today's post. Oh well, you can't find enlightenment everyday.

Intellect, the Bible, and the Quran

One of the things I really like about Islamic culture is the intellectual nature of it. The fact that Mohammad's first revelation was "Read!" is indicative of that nature. My understanding is that every Muslim is supposed to read the entire Quran during the month of Ramadan. Additionally, Quranic memorization is a common occurrence and there is even a well-developed science to reading the Quran.

This stands in stark contrast to much of Christianity, where many people never read the Bible and indeed for centuries only the clergy and well educated had access to Bibles. Although the Roman Catholic church insisted on keeping mass in Latin for centuries, it made no effort to educate people in Latin. It wasn't until relatively recently that colloquial translations of the Bible were made.

Islam is similar in its sticking to Arabic but it stresses learning and reading Arabic for all Muslims, not just the clergy and affluent. In this way, religion has a place in the lives of everyday, common man rather than just those with the money and time to pursue such studies.

This intellectual side is also evident in the Quran, which states that one should understand and not simply blindly follow what you're told. I very much respect this questioning of religion as blind acceptance of anything is dangerous, in my opinion. I feel like if you're going to believe something and follow something, whether it's religious, political, or scientific, you should be able to logically explain your belief. Blind acceptance without question leads to fascism in government and extremist cults in religion. I don't claim that Islam is without this blind acceptance or that Christianity is without intellectualism; I just appreciate how it seems to be a central facet to Islam.

Anyway, after I started my questioning of everything, my regular reading of my Bible changed drastically. I began noticing many little things that didn't quite make sense. One of these oddities was Jesus' praying to God. I couldn't figure out why Jesus, as a part of God through the Trinity, would need to pray. I can accept him leading prayer amongst others but his individual prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane doesn't make any sense to me. As a part of God, it seems to me that he's praying to himself. Is he asking himself for intervention or blessing?

I asked my Pastor this question and I wasn't terribly pleased with the response. I was told that it is part of the mystery that is God. The question was actually reflected back to me: how would I, as a believer, explain it to a non-believer? It actually makes me think of the movie Contact where the scientists state that the simple solution is most probably fact, Occam's razor. It's much more natural to accept a god that's clearly understandable and plainly laid out. The whole "mystery of God" thing is fairly unappealing. I don't claim that God must be entirely comprehensible to man but if God wants man to worship and follow him, I think he would clarify important issues such as these.

Another thing that I noticed while reading, although the Quran this time, was the mention of the Holy Spirit. In sura Baqara, 2:87, "We gave Jesus, the son of Mary, clear signs and strengthened him with the Holy Spirit." I also noticed it later on in the same sura but I didn't write down which ayah. I also should've noted the Arabic word that was translated to Holy Spirit. What surprised me was the fact that it was captalized, especially given its meaning in Christianity. I can understand the Quran referencing the spirit as a characteristic of God but the "Holy Spirit" has a well-defined meaning in the mind of Christians. For this reason alone, I would expect the translator to avoid that phrase, especially capitalized as it is.

Anyway, my reading of both the Bible and the Quran continue. We'll see what I pick up on next.

Mohammed versus Jesus

First of all, I noticed that I just spelled Muhammad as Mohammed instead. I've seen both used and I don't know when or why I use one versus the other. I guess I'll just use whichever pops into my head when I'm writing. Such is transliteration.

Although in general, Jesus, Mohammed, and all the prophets teach primarily the same thing, there are a few topics in which their teachings seem to differ greatly. This is especially true of Jesus' teachings as Muhammad's line up fairly well with the Old Testament prophets. This is fine if justified with the "new covenant" argument of Christianity that states that Jesus came bringing a new message of grace and forgiveness, to abolish the old law and establish a new one in which belief in him and living a Christian life are the new requirements for eternal life. However, if one sticks to the Muslim argument that all the prophets' teachings were consistent but were simply modified, Jesus' teachings have to be drastically altered to attain consistency.

Whereas Jesus taught to turn the other cheek when someone strikes you (Luke 6:27-36), Mohammed allowed and even encouraged violence at times. Although Christianity has a long history of violent mission work bringing about forced conversion, that is not a product of Jesus' teachings but, rather, the corruption of power and ethnocentrism resulting from Christianity's dominance in the Western world. The early church spread and grew not through violence but simplly through personal evangelism and the faith and conviction demonstrated through martyrdom.

I suppose the same progression happened with Islam but on a much faster time-scale. Since it happened during the life of Mohammed, it definitely can't be argued that it was a result of corruption of his teachings and Islamic beliefs. It can easily be argued, on the other hand, that Christianity's violent turn was against Christ's teachings.

The warring against unbelievers under the direction of Mohammed does draw definite parallels to Israel's history. The entire book of Joshua in the Old Testament follows Israel's entry into the promised land across the Jordan River after forty years of wandering through the desert. Under Joshua's guidance, they invade city after city, killing almost everyone and claiming the land and its wealth.

I can accept that some corruption of Jesus' message happened but that seems like a major difference. They were in very different situations, Jesus having a small following within Judaism for a short time span as opposed to Mohammed having a large following over a much longer span. However, I can't imagine Jesus would teach only lessons applicable to the immediate situation and ignore the future, growing church.

I'm currently finishing up a collection of ahadith (sayings and teachings of Mohammed that were not part of the divinely given Quran). Most of the teachings are commonsense, habits to help you lead a good life, keep good relations with others, and maintain one's health. Some of them do strike me as somewhat specific to the Arab culture, as I've already mentioned, not having any practical grounding, but most of them would probably be accepted as guidelines for any religion, Eastern or Western, mono- or poly- (or even a-)theistic. There were a few that almost offended me as a Christian; I wish I had marked them of written them down. I feel like most of them have to do with relations with non-Muslims. Whereas Christianity (at least I feel) teaches one to love, honor, and respect everyone regardless of creed, Islam has a very different official position regarding non-believers, especially non-Judeo-Christians.

That strikes me as odd because Islam is not an exclusive religion into which you have to be born. People convert (or revert, in the Islamic lingo) to Islam all the time. Muslims are expected to spread Islam to non-believers. I just don't understand how that's supposed to happen when there is a mandated separation between Muslims and non-Muslims.

I don't experience this in my everday dealings with Muslims. I've always found them to be friendly and accepting of me, even before I had developed even the slightest curiosity about Islam. However, the ahadith teaches that separation from (and even slaughter of) non-believers. I'm sure I'm being a bit harsh. I'll try to pull up a couple examples of the ahadith that bug me.

As promised, prophecies

I've read some of the Old Testament prophets in full and I'm sure I've encountered all of their juciest bits somewhere between church and my own readings. Judaism holds that the prophets foretold of the Messiah, who will come restore the temple in Jerusalem, restore God's chosen people to their seat of glory, and bring about God's will on Earth. Both Christianity and Islam believe that Jesus was the Messiah, whereas Judaism obviously insists that Jesus did not fulfill the messianic prophecies. Islam goes one step farther and believes that the Old Testament prophets fortell of Muhammad, as well (see here.)

Usually, when I read these passages, I don't pick up on anything too intensely prophetic. There are a few places like Isaiah 53 that definitely remind me of Jesus' life. However, usually, the prophetic portions of the Bible read just like the rest. If I read them with my study Bible, I see and understand how everything applies to Jesus and explains the Trinity and supports Christianity. When I read it from sources such as the first link above, I see that the Bible is obviously talking about Muhammad and Judaism and Christianity have both been twisting God's word for centuries. However, when I read them alone, I get that God is great and is worthy of our praise and that we are weak and full of faults but if I were reading the Old Testament without any other background, I don't think I'd flag any parts as prophecies.

It's also very possible that my uninsightful Bible interpretations are just a result of my own academic shortcomings. I've always been very skewed towards the maths and sciences and weaker in the liberal arts. I love reading but apparently I'm a very superficial reader, seeing only the explicitly stated and overlooking any deeper meaning.

Life (from the religious search for truth perspective) would really be so much easier if I had original, untampered sources for all the religious texts. I'm pretty accepting of the Qu'ran's veracity just because of its relative modernity and the intense tradition of memorization from the very beginnings of Islam. However, Christianity's and Judaism's texts are collections from various authors over various periods of time and their history of oral tradition provides plenty of oportunity for modification, whether intentional or not.

I'll finish by returning to a theme from my very first post. Religion is supposed to give peace. Sometimes it definitely does that. Sometimes when I'm experiencing God's wonderful creation and beauty, I'm very grateful and praising. However, whenever I remember my current confusion, religion just depresses me. I don't feel like God has abandoned me but I feel like I suddenly don't know Him anymore. I guess that's to be expected since I'm questioning my fundamental beliefs about God; I guess on some level, I don't know Him. Hopefully I'll find Him again and I'll regain that confidence and certainty of my beliefs, thereby regaining my peace and shaking this religious depression.

By the way, if you're Muslim, Happy Ramadan, if you're Jewish, Happy Rosh Hashanah, and if you're Christian, Happy mid-September!

Purpose

The purpose of this blog is twofold: to tap into the enormous resource of the internet on my search for truth and to document my wandering and questioning for others in my situation.

Here's some background:
I grew up a typical American boy, I'd say. I went to public schools, did my extracurricular activities, had a supportive family, and everything was good. I attended church at a local Protestant church with my family throughout my youth. We were regular Sunday church-goers and participated in some other activities like Sunday school, youth group, and Wednesday night Lenten services but we never were extreme in our participation or fervor.

After going off to college, I continued regularly attending a church in the community. I took place in some campus Bible studies and tried to live according to my beliefs. Now, as a young adult, I'm even more active in my church, serving in leadership positions, organizing, and leading events.

However, at some point in the last few years, I began questioning parts of what I had grown up believing. When reading my study Bible, I find out about the twisted path that has led to the books that have been gathered together and labeled "God's Word." I've visited many churches, both with friends and out of curiosity, and have learned the differences between the various branches of Christianity. The disagreements and disunity within Christianity makes me wonder who and what is right.

And then one day I met and got to know some Muslims. Originally I was curious from an academic standing but I still knew that I was right and they were wrong. However, my continuing exploration of Christianity and increasing doubts led me to question my certainty and take Islam into serious consideration.

I now know a lot more about both Christianity and Islam than I did even a few months ago. I'm still just as confused and uncertain as ever, probably more so. However, my search continues. I intend to document my feelings and my questions here. I hope to receive feedback, answers, comments, suggestions, and even more questions from others.

I don't expect this to be a quick process, nor do I want it to be. I want to make sure that what I conclude in the end is THE TRUTH.

Thus continues my spiritual journey.